You might lose the one you choose . You might lose who won you times ten .
You've given me a heart like a gun And I'm so shocked that I made it through These billion days. I didn't think I could tough it out for those days A billionHeld against the breast. next to the heart. the same interlaced hands. were those of a lover. who pleadeth for mercy from is beloved.
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Saturday, December 09, 2006
why?
okay so this is Lacie, 4 years later.
i still love sean, and justin, and every guy who i never gave a chance.
i'm so mad right now.
its wierd, how much time passes- but i'm still obsessed with glassjaw and the new brand new and my dogs and jenny and life.
tom chris brady ashley ali jenny are the only people who have stayed truly constant with me.
i spoke to sean l. on the phone before and i was all giddy like how i was when i went to homecoming and ran into him. hes permanently living in california, and came through ny in october. he was there for 4 months. i'm upset.
all i need is to speak to justin, and be even more upset at the fact that hes not the same.
luke text messaged me last night telling me he was in love with me.
i told myself i love life because things are always changing and making me giggle.
dani and i went shopping today, i got gifts for a few people. i'm feeling accomplished.
i feel like i'm 13 again.
oh and i hung out with mike magnetico this summer, and he told me he'll always love me and blah blah blah i'm the only girl hes ever met like that more blah blah blah.
we almost had sex but i wasn't up for it- only because i wasn't sure if the reason i was there was to prove to myself he loved me and i didnt love him, or if i still did like him.
i'll never know.
philly is treating me well.
boys here are the same as ny.
:).
can't wait to go home, and hug olivia.
Posted at Saturday, December 09, 2006 by Xthenight
Thursday, February 24, 2005
hand picked the worst pictures ever. i'm a sweetheart.
Posted at Thursday, February 24, 2005 by Xthenight
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
yeah you bet we did
Fuck you Blogdrive. We are so breaking up.
Posted at Tuesday, January 13, 2004 by Xthenight
Tuesday, January 06, 2004
urrr head ache.
Ever have those days, where I mean everything fine, but at the same time, it sucks.
I dont know what it was that made me realize it, but my body just cant hold anything more.
Emotionaly, physicaly or mentaly. And it just sucks.
I realized how alone I really am.
And how lonley I am.
There was no one to cuddle with today.
And I really sorta wanted to!
.....I was just interupted, and lost my train of thought. Eh whatever.
I really. Really. really. dont want to go to school tomorrow.
And thats about it.
I thought I had a point when I started typing.
I guess not.
Well I just wasted a good 10 minutes.
Posted at Tuesday, January 06, 2004 by Xthenight
Sunday, January 04, 2004
Well.. Yeah.
.My Vacation.
-Went to Villa Maria with Jen and Jackie. I got the biggest soup ever. I'm still not over it.
-Got harassed by the man in Villa Maria. (no suprise there)
-Saw old friends.
-Sat in the car with Jen.Jens Mom.Christian.Jackie and Matt for an hour getting out of the mall.
-Went to Starbucks in rvc and saw the same stuff I wrote on the tables in the summer.
-Jenny is now Gina.
-ate an entire box of Chips ahoy cookies.
-French maid!! Taboo. Tabogin. Whatever. Danny.
-Watched Orgazmo with the guys. "Dad I dont think I'm going to do hampster style anymore"
-Let Jenny the Blade cut my hair. Hah Rorz.
-Went to NJ and saw Kirk and the family.
-Got made fun of more on Christmas then on Thanksgiving for being a vegetarian.
-"sometimes even love will show a re-run"
-Watched the ULTIMATE bad movie at Matts.
-Hung out in the underground parking garage. For too long.
-Saw Rorys mom and dogs. <3
-Too many conversations about Farting. "It's all I ever think about" Haha Matt.
-Anal Sex.
-I am not asian. Fuck you Dan Rorz and Mike.
-Taco bell.
-Wrote letters to Grandparents, Gina, Shonk, and Jenna.
-Wheely chair wars with Jenny in my basement.
-Had Tom Rory Mike Matt and Danny at my house, and they yelled at
-Jen Jax and I <3 lesbian Pilates during movies.jen and I the whole night for laughing while they watched a movie.
-Made up a ghey 5th grade dance. "Bunny Hop"
-Tried to Master Twister moves.
-Odd hours of the night, Jenny and I sing Thursday to eachother with music blasting and Tom and Jackie romping on my bed.
-Saw Seans band members at the mall and Jenny waved .. a lot.
-Anus.
-Sleepover <3 Jen and Jackie.
-Frisky didnt come. Damn Breeder.
-Saw Chris Belfi at the mall .. then later he got arrested for having a sword.
-Tried to master Twister Moves .. again.
-Hung out at Jackies house with Mike .. without Jackie.
-Matt wrote me a letter.
-Listened to crappy metal music for hours at Mikes.
-went to the city.
-Saw the most attractive boy. He had a black hoodie. with red writing on the hood. and it was up. he had glasses. He was sitting by the subway entrance. We fell in love. I know it. I didnt talk to him. But he smiled. Oh it was love at first sight.
-saw the cutest gay couple.
-spent new years at Jens with Jack Tom Rorz and Sorta Danny.
-Were going streaking.
-Ska show at Irving Plaza.
-10000 people skanking. I'm not sure what it did to my mental state.
-Zoolander and Jenny showed Kevin finnally the guy that looks like him. She says it everytime.
-Tom Jackie and I followed Kevin home in Toms car. Very funny.
-Met a guy in Starbucks in nyc with Jen. He just got a job at dirty Janes. He works at 12 tomorrow. he used to work at the gap. He was just let out of Jail. he had a beer. it cost him a lot of money.Nice kid. really.
-met a group of guys in a small room waiting for the bathroom. One guy peed his pants for Rancid. Yesm, that is dedication.
-Got the Madonna Cd I've wanted. Now that, made my vacation.
Posted at Sunday, January 04, 2004 by Xthenight
Saturday, December 27, 2003
..
chokingontheinside .. i miss you too. and i know you work a lot. and i havent 'given up'. And youre right, no one else knows but me. And I wont give up if you dont. Sorry for being so mean about everything. Yeah, I didn't help the situation very well. Talk to you soon. hopefully. <33 And did you get my message about my dream. Very wierd.
Posted at Saturday, December 27, 2003 by Xthenight
Friday, December 26, 2003
<33
Long entry.
Comment if you have something nice to say, otherwise I will just delete them, like I always do.
Today/Tonight .. so much fun.
Woke up last night at 3 in the morning to "Why". I don't know why Josh, havent spoken to you in a while.
Around 1ish in the afternoon I went to Jackies with Jen.
I ate everything.
I got advice for getting a boyfriend, just act liek you know what youre doing. THANKS JACK.
Or just act like a man.
I was told "you are the type of woman men fear to marry" or something along those lines.
Just b/c I'm on the girly side.
I hate you both...
Then around shopping with them.
Then Rory came to Jackies.
We walked to cvs and saw Evan.
Then walked to Jackies.
Danny and Matt picked us up, and we went to Matts house.
We watched 'kracka jack'd' - The WORST movie .. EVER. But it was pretty funny.
"I ride fat girls around like mopeds'
After, no suprise, Taco Bell.
Tom came.
Rhia and Rob came.
I missed Rhia, she started telling me a story about her love life, but then she had to leave.
We all went to Party City.
Jackie and Tom , in toms car .. Jenny Danny Rory Matt and I in Dannys car.
Jenny and I threw crap into/at Toms car the whole ride around oceanside/rvc.
We wound up hanging out in an underground parking garage, where they skated with a bunch of random cute guys.
We were there for a while.
Jenny and I ran around Rvc looking for somewhere to pee.
I screamed about being singleish.
Then people honked at us. I hate old gross men.
Well, a lot went down in this parking garage.
I called everyone in my cell phone, and Jenny Rory and I left annoying voicemails.
I cleaned Toms car.
Got made fun of b/c of the way I walk.
And a lot of other crap.
Then Dan Rorz Matt Jen and I went back to Matts.
On the way there, they spazed out over a.w.k.
I love them.
Matt sticks his head out of the window to scream at some random asian woman, and lost his hat.
It was classic.
We went back to Matts house, and talked about farts the rest of the night.
What else would we do? haha.
I missed Mike! He was the only one missing from the group. It wasent the same without his comments. and touching his boobs. and twirling of the hair. We left him a nice voicemail though. he should enjoy that one. hah. :)
Then I came home. And got a Mastercard gift certificate, which is awesome.
That was the night.
It was a lot of fun.
It may not sound like, but you really had to be there.
I love them all. Even if Tom tried to run me and all of them over.
Any ideas on what to do tomorrow?
" I really have to take a crap " - Guess who.
(excited voice) " Oh yeahh! they are open, Its what, like TUESDAY?! " -Jen
"Jenny, its friday." -Me.
Anything I forgot?
Edit.
Josh A. the head is god. I love .. it. <33
But no cute random guys can compare to Rory Danny and Matt AND Mike. (even though he wasent there, b/c he was at a family thing)
Because they are amazing people.
Matts Uncle Fim is great.
Those Booties are awesome.
Abouttocrash4: yea yea i see u dont want to talk to me fine but remember this when u fall in love with me ull regret it hehe lol
Edit .. AGAIN
well, im not putting the first few IM's. because thats just mean.
Voicesinmyhead03: G-H-E-Y GAY
Voicesinmyhead03: it makes him seem like a little girl
Voicesinmyhead03: and little emo girl
Voicesinmyhead03: like so emo that he puts like bright eyes in the hardcore category
Voicesinmyhead03: and on that note
Voicesinmyhead03: there is only one peni around...so only one in my bed
Voicesinmyhead03: and no vagini around so none in my bed
Voicesinmyhead03: and i just wanted to say peni and vagini
Posted at Friday, December 26, 2003 by Xthenight
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
I am transparent.
Yeah. I was just talking to .. sean. hah. Not coming home untill the end of march. Oh well. Hes not coming home for xmas. They are having christmas up there. Whateverr. Yesterday, was the funniest day .. ever. Tom drove Kevin home. and we made fun of tom and kevin. and it was just so funny. I cant even explain it. Tom thought 'the camel loved kevin'. oh man. Words just cant describe. And then we go to Kevins house, and Tom makes fun of every possible thing outside of it. And we go inside, and makes fun of everything. I love them. Yeah. 3 Days untill vacation. I cant fucking wait.
I wanted to do a few things. Like achieve Karma. No, uhh I wanted to .. buy the cursive Cd. See Kirk. See Dana. See my family I never see. See Tio. Maybe see Kristin and Anthony. (all these are family and such). Uhm. See Mike, but who ever knows with him.
Its been a year since we started hanging out with Mike Rory Danny every day. Then Rob, Matt joined in.
I hate them all. But I love them so much.
youdK1LLforthis (5:40:01 PM): i made a cake
b ob s a spo nge (5:40:05 PM): what kind
youdK1LLforthis (5:50:19 PM): chocolate chip...sorry lol
haha yeahh late you idiot. haha. I love him too. Even if I say I hate him all the time. Hes so nice. He really is.
I will write again another time. yeah.
Posted at Tuesday, December 16, 2003 by Xthenight
Thursday, December 11, 2003
why?
I havent spoken to this kid in .. a long time.
cire128: Hi, I've watched you from your profiles and away messages for about a year now. I must say that in this said year you have went from cute innocent girl to hardcore emo babe.
cire128: and i want you
This week, has been nothing but about talking to old people. Him, Matt, Jimmy, Greg .. so many. Hm.
Posted at Thursday, December 11, 2003 by Xthenight
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
and YEAH
Woah . Read my last thing. now, my moods like the best EVER. I love my friends more then life. Im super happy now. I take back everything I said.
Tom is by far the best friend. Ever.
SAMOHT2626: mad chicks think hes a hotty and you have a chance with him
SAMOHT2626: actually more than a chance
b ob s a spo nge: haha whattt
SAMOHT2626: and you have a K.I.C.K garauntee
b ob s a spo nge: a whaaat
SAMOHT2626: i'll kick his ass if he breaks your heart
b ob s a spo nge: hahahaha
SAMOHT2626: your whale blubber heart
b ob s a spo nge: i wish i had that guarentee with a lot of guys
b ob s a spo nge: hahahhahaha
SAMOHT2626: who ya want beat up
SAMOHT2626: i'll cock smack him
I'm just glad things work out. In more ways than one. Things always get better. No matter what. Today I thought I hit rock bottom, but to my suprise, I didnt. (If I dont make sense, Dont mind me, It makes sense in my head)
Note To Self: Remember that.
Posted at Tuesday, December 09, 2003 by Xthenight
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HAHAHA